14 October 2017

Valencia. Is it the place or the people?

I am not all too often impressed when it comes to new places. But, when I am, I must write about it.

I visited Spain a few times before but I never went to Valencia. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I did see some amazing buildings when I googled it. One thing was for sure, it was Spain! It would certainly be crowded, people will be loud, food everywhere and I will be eating tapas. I don’t want to sound shallow but that was my experience in the previous visits and they were wonderful visits.

As soon as I set foot on Valencian ground, my plane arriving at midnight, I was mesmerized by the silence. It wasn’t an anxious silence. I didn’t feel unsafe or afraid. It was a silence that surrounded the city and it immediately changed my inner mood. I became calm not knowing why.
The first day in Valencia was cloudy and rainy but I wasn't affected at all. The company was excellent and that definitely made my stay wonderful but, the city itself should not be underestimated. If you looked closely at the surroundings, at the people, at everything around you, you would have realized this city was a little heaven on earth.

There were palm trees everywhere, beautiful and colorful buildings well preserved with amazing window shutters. Most of the areas were decorated with flowers and the parks were very beautiful and alive.

People on the street, stylish and simple dressed, looked quite reserved but they were very polite. Respect seemed to be one of the priorities. In the morning I watched the busy street coming to life and people being so polite to one another. I wondered if they did that because they learned it or because it something in their blood?

Perhaps unnecessary to mention as Spain is rich in culture, art and music but Valencia had her way of combining all the creativity and presenting them in a subtle and authentic manner. Street musician played very well. They did their best to show their talent and share their music with everyone. Performances and surprises were discovered in unexpected places.  I even stumbled upon a Flamenco show. The Flamenco dancer, a gorgeous and proud young woman, as well as the singer moved me to tears. The air was filled with harmony and the sweet liquor of surrender.

I must say that every time I came to Spain I wasn’t that baffled with the variety of food. Perhaps I had made quick assumptions about the tapas and paella. Valencia made me realize there is much more to the Spanish cuisine than the standard touristic bites. Not to mention the little restaurants hidden in every corner, making it already a satisfying game to discover one of them. The food was magnificent and without knowing it I was closing my eyes from time to time to enjoy the moment and the wine that, of course, had to be present at every meal. Not to mention the waiters and restaurant owners who did their best to establish some sort of relationship with their customers. I loved the genuine interest and the little chit chats.

I think what attracted me most to Valencia was the silence around me. Even on a crowded market I could still taste the silence. It was the silence I felt inside the people surrounding me. I felt their peace, their smiles as they were living in the moment, no worries seeming to trouble them. They were different. The feeling is indescribably and I can’t explain it further with words. It is of course very personal. I can’t guarantee that others will share the same experience but perhaps there are some of you out there who understand this strange yet surprisingly wonderful silence.  

Yes, I am impressed by Valencia. Yes, I can’t wait to be there again and yes Valencia makes me feel more home than any other city I have ever visited. Do I have to thank the city for that? Maybe but it is the people who have created and preserved this treasure with which that I have fallen so much in love. The perfect balance between beauty and responsibility, freedom and unity. Who knows, maybe there is Spanish blood flowing through my veins after all. Ole!

23 May 2017

Rules of Dating

We are humans. We are either constantly changing eager to learn more every day or we stay on the same spot enjoying the sweet sound of comfort. Either way we live, we learn, we die. Oh, but before that we also date.

Dating when you’re above 30 is hardly a pretty picture. Why? Because you have already developed a character that has certain demands. When you’re 15, 16 years old your life has just begun, you usually don’t know which path to take and you hardly expect your partner to behave or have specific qualities other than he’s cute or she likes beer. After your 30’s you have already been hurt, fell down, got up, fell down again, faced the good sides and bad sides of life, had a few lovers, discovered more about yourself. Let’s say you’ve more or less matured and you have an idea of what your life should look like. Because of this the partner needs to meet some requirements such as more stability, responsibility if you’re thinking of having children or a certain level of knowledge if you want an intellectual challenge. It might look like a short wish list but these characteristics often pair up with other ones as well. This is why it’s difficult to find someone, dating easily turning into a disaster.

Too picky? Have you ever heard that? ‘You are too picky? Just find someone and stay with him or her.’ It’s the worst mistake you could ever make. Scared of ending up alone you decide to accept the first person you meet with all the weird traits because you are afraid you’ll end up alone. Let me tell you something, there are no guarantees you will still be with that person over 10 years. If you fear ending up alone that is probably what will happen in the end. Don’t allow yourself to stay with someone you don’t love or doesn’t match, be miserable just because of fear. Choose wisely and choose patiently.

In a world of social media I find us becoming shallower as the days pass. Even I catch myself judging a man based on this Facebook profile, his pictures, his friends, his job. It’s horrid. And worse, with all the distorted selfies and the indoctrination of what beauty is we have become superficial and shallow as fuck. Looks are very important, social life, travelling experience, financial status and we have created the ideal profile to which a partner should match. We forgot what was important to us and we follow the pretty pictures like hypnotized monkeys. Wake up and dare to be different.
Image ruined. There are a lot of women who like to get physical on their first date or whose eyes shine at the sight of money. Because there are a lot of them men have the tendency to think we are all the same. They can’t help themselves just as we can’t help ourselves concluding that all men want to get us in bed as soon as possible and are not interested in our minds. The majority ruined the chances for the few lost souls that want more than financial gain or a night of pleasure. And at the same time we struggle to go on a date keeping an open mind and an unbiased point of view, we try to forget all the bad experiences and focus on new good ones, we try not to judge a person too quickly by the looks or words because of the scars we bare from previous dates or relationships.

Where are all the good ones? It’s that feeling: all the good ones are taken. Men and women that are truly beautiful on the inside and outside are in relationships and their partners hold on tight to them knowing what they could lose. Perhaps. But there are those in the same situation as we are so we cannot be unique. Let’s not forget that from all the relationships all over the world, perhaps 5% if lucky have a happy marriage, love and the ideal picture of which we dream. The rest stay in the relationship afraid of being alone or financially independent, afraid of affecting the children or just comfortable with the same situation over and over. Not everyone challenges themselves to the point they realize they deserve better. Not everyone deserves better to begin with. A narcissistic asshole who doesn’t care about anyone and has a partner that isn’t that pretty but takes care of him every day, hardly deserves better even though he probably believes it. His partner on the other hand might think she does not deserve better while she actually does. Who deserves who? It all comes down to how we think, what kind of persons we have become, our fears and insecurities, how much we learned from our mistakes and how many expectations we have created.

We become individuals and pull ourselves away from the herd of relationships that are just there to pass the time. We stand aside and watch. We wonder if it would be best to join the herd, stop thinking and challenge ourselves so much. But we can’t. We can’t compromise, we can’t accept mediocrity. We can’t. It’s all or nothing. And it may be difficult but one day you will see her or him standing on the other side of the road, watching the herd and thinking the exact same thing as you do. You won’t join the herd as a couple, you will stand aside and continue to watch because that is who you are. But this time, you will stand as a couple and watch the herd while you are both holding hands.

And yes this article is called rules of dating so of course I will post them.

Yes, yes if you find someone who is meant for you, you don’t need rules. That’s for sure. But until then here are a few tips to take into account. I am not saying these are things that will get you the man or woman of your dreams because as I said before that will just happen. But these are tips to make your life easier during your dating period.

1. Leave your expectations at home. I hope he is tall. I hope she is short. I hope he looks better than on Facebook. I hope she looks exactly like her Facebook profile. I hope we have a good time. Stop! Go on a date with a smile and clear your mind. You are there to meet a new person not to be the judge on a beauty contest.

2. Dress up a bit. Don’t dress like you’re going to a gala opening but dress smart. Show the person before you that you took an effort to be there. Take a shower. It’s important to smell nice. Actually smell is more important than you think. It can turn a person on or off almost instantly.  Dress smart, smell good. No one likes a stinky, pajama looking date.

3. Be punctual. It’s a date, it’s not a job interview but that does not mean it should not be treated seriously. Show up on time just as you would like the other person to do. You don’t want to wait half an hour for your date so don’t do the same. If you are going to be late, don’t just text, call, apologize and even give them an estimation of when you will get there.

4. Be honest. It’s the best way to go. If your date is smart enough he or she will know if you are trying to bend the truth. Honesty is clean and simple. However some things can better be left unspoken. If you don’t like your date’s outfit don’t say it! If you want to go someplace else, go ahead and share that. Do remember there is a difference between honesty and rudeness.

5. Don’t throw it all out there. Tell your date some things about you but don’t let them read the whole book on the first date. Don’t start with the day you were born and finish with today. Let them think about it, come up with questions on their own. Keep the interest and curiosity in the air. It’s only the first date. If there is a click more dates will follow, you don’t have to force it.

6. Avoid horrid details. Don’t start talking about your exes, how mean they were or how they treated you, used you. You will sound like a bitter old prune. Don’t start talking about any medical situation you had and give them disgusting details. Don’t talk about your insecurities in life. If you must mention something be brief about it.

7. Focus on your date. If your date is shy do try to ask questions, find out more instead of filling up the air with your own stories. Try to discover things about your date and let your date discover you as well. It’s not a job interview, the conversation should go naturally. And do put the fucking phone away, will you? 

8. Pay! Yes, no more excuses. Always offer to pay half during your date. Be careful with offering to pay everything. Nowadays it might be taken advantage of. Don’t show off with your financial status or complain that you have no money. ‘Somehow’ that turns people off. Keep your mouth shut, pay half or at least offer and that’s that.

9. Kiss goodnight? Oh boy, have times changed! You can kiss at the end of the date but usually this happens during the date. Do what feels good. What will happen on the second date? Whatever you want but it’s important to discuss the expectations with one another before getting any surprises. Someone who is hurried to get you into bed quickly is probably not that serious.

10. Facebook stalking forbidden. Don’t start looking through his Facebook page, his pictures, the women he dated, where he went, what he did. Well, of course you will but don’t take it too seriously. We often create a Facebook image of the life of a person when reality can be completely different. Don’t become a stalker, be patient and things will reveal themselves to you sooner or later.

11. Learn and move on. He didn’t call back? What did I do wrong? What happened? But he seemed so interested. We ask ourselves what went wrong without realizing that perhaps the other person is confronted with his or her own fears and expectations as well. When someone does not continue dating you it does not necessarily mean you did something wrong. Leave it behind, take it as a learning moment, you met a new person, you discovered what you liked and disliked about that person thus learning more about yourself. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Don’t be harsh on the other person either. Your time will come as long as you keep on trying.

Thank you for reading for so long. Here’s something to really enjoy ;)

01 May 2017

Love is you

I deserve the best. I deserve all the best in this entire world. How many of us say that? How many people think that? 

This article is for the ones who…understand it…

We underestimate ourselves every day. We appreciate others, admire them for who they are, for what they have achieved but do we stop for a moment and look in the mirror?

There is a difference between thinking you are someone or thinking you are special. Sometimes we think we are meaningless, a pebble on a long road, insignificant and disposable. If we all thought the same every day, took these words as true, there would be no greatness in this world. Allow yourself to be great by appreciating your talents, qualities and beauty. Think of all your idols and put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Do you think they believed all their lives they sucked? They believed they were nothing?

Look in the mirror and say ‘Damn, I am hot! Damn I am talented and there is no one like me in this world!’ Is it a foolish thing to do? Are you not all these things? Who says you are not? If others say that, fuck them! Fuck everyone else. If you say that, you need to change the way you think.

It sounds clichĂ© but love does start with you. I myself need to be reminded of this as well. Luckily I have a wise friend who points that out to me from time to time. If you do not love yourself how will others love you, appreciate you for who you are? If you do not take care of your body, your health, your own happiness, who else will? Never rely on others to change you into a better person, to take away your loneliness, to make you feel special, to take you places, to let you express your talent. Never. If you want something done, do it yourself. And if you are not comfortable with being alone with yourself for a while then start getting comfortable! 

Create your own path, don’t compare yourself to others, the life you live is your own and you don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

Start today. What better day to start? Say goodbye to bad habits, bad relationships, moody friends, anything that makes you feel less than perfect. Getting uncomfortable? Good. It means you’re growing. It means it’s time to change.

29 January 2017

To Do List 2017

When the weather is pure horrid and all you want is stay home, crawled up in a warm bed next to a hot body all I can do is support that wish and

…yes of course…

encourage it by sharing with you my 2017 to do list!


I didn’t want to share him with you up until now. But yes, this whole month I have been enjoying his company and I can’t say I can get enough of him. Yes I admit he’s a bit of a weirdo and his Sherlock lifestyle is quite complicated but hey, who doesn’t want a challenge? Benedict Cumberbatch is the new provocation!

And come now, wouldn’t you like him to use his Smaug voice in bed? No? Then it’s probably just me.


Celebrate Valentine’s day with a romantic fellow? You bet I will. Dan Stevens is such a sweetheart! And what better way to spend this romantic month than with the actor of the most romantic movie of 2017? Beauty and the Beast…though I do hope he still kept a bit of his beastie side…


Spring starts with this beautiful tigress ….Can she be more perfect…or evil? She’s playful, funny and looks absolutely cute with those horns, wouldn’t you agree? Lesley‑Ann Brandt the cutest demon you’ve ever set your eyes upon and not only that she is smart with a strong ass personality too. The only question is, can you handle her?


Yes it is April but he ain’t no fool ladies. He is a bit crazy but not a fool. Who hasn’t seen him in Filth and Split and wondered if his mind is not a bit twisted? And who wouldn’t love him for that? And if it ain’t that then it’s gotta be his gorgeous accent, right? James McAvoy has his peculiar charm accompanied by a great and irreplaceable talent.

The newbie on Ray Donovan’s show cannot go unnoticed. Give it up for Ismael Cruz Cordova! Those eyes and that perfect skin were made to be irresistible. So what he had a weird relationship with his sister…I have my weird shit too, like I eat too much candy…That body and the way you can see his soul right through those mesmerizing eyes, oh dear God…


For my Birthday I would like to go back to the classics. Dean of course will do just fine! I will have my perfect day with Jensen Ackles away from evil…but for the rest of the month we’ll spend a good old classic time hunting and slashing monsters, with some burgers and beer of course.


Applause for Galaxy’s hottest….Zoe Saldana! We’ll spend the month on the beach, party all night and wake up with coffee and pancakes!


The classic once more. Our own favorite Chris Hemsworth is here to enjoy the summer sun and make us feel loved and well…too hot all the time.


He cannot be missed especially in his wonderful role in Poldark! Talented and yummy, Aidan Turner!


Luke Evans doesn’t want to quit the list. He just insists on staying hot and beautiful all the time.


Maybe for the first time in a while a blondie girl makes her way through the list. She’s sweet yet smart and taugh! Lauren German is the hottest detective you’ve ever seen. And yes you may know her from her role in Chicago Fire but if you haven’t seen Lucifer, man, you know nothing!


Oh come, holiday fairytale season time. We need someone sweet and warm…just like a cup of hot coco with cinnamon. We need tiny marshmallows and a fireplace, we need…oh yes…our very own Enrique Iglesias! Oh yes, bachata time!

26 January 2017

Live and love

Every new year’s eve I used say

‘I hope next year will be better’.

I stopped doing so this year. I do not wish it to be better. I wish it to be just as diverse and different as last year.

I can’t say last year was a great year or however you may call it but it was different and that is more important. I did new things and though fear was in my heart every time now I am so happy I actually had the guts to do them. Only now do I realize how much I stagnated at one point and I know I will never go to that stage ever again. Some people like their lives to be the same every  day, to be in control of every situation and never be surprised by anything. It may sound like criticism but it’s not. Some people are like that and that it ok. There is nothing wrong with that as long as the person is happy the way his or her life is. No one said we should all travel, try new things, experience all there is to experience because we are not all the same. If we would all travel at the same time…imagine that…We are not all the same so the whole do this and do that does not apply to all of us. Just like Facebook. Not everyone wants to be on Facebook 24/7 share their pictures, experiences, locations with the rest of the world. You can’t call those people introverts, ugly, losers or whatever. 

We are all different and that is a good thing.

Anyway, back to the story. I am one of those people who wants to do new things constantly. I like to learn as much as I can from my life and experience all that is out there. Not that any of my activities ever made sense. I experienced being a reporter on a radio station, being a teacher, jewelry making, acting, all kinds of dance styles, painting lessons, guitar lessons, writing lessons, singing in a choir in German in a fraternity house (then giving a performance in a cathedral), performing a striptease show with a James Bond theme at a school party I helped organize, singing in front of colleagues at a work party, taking part of sword fighting lessons, experiencing capoeira and I remember at one point ending up at a meeting about American Indians where we sat in a circle and…I must say I forgot the rest. Then you have those little moments in life when you’re thinking what the fuck am I doing here? Being in a striptease club and getting a lap dance, sitting in a van next to a guy way too stoned to drive and wondering why you made that decision in the first place.

I am one of those people who later on in life would like to be one of those strange grandma’s and tell her grand-kids stuff that will make them wonder if I were ever totally sane. To me that’s life. Doing crazy things, things you’re not comfortable with and then creating memories that will last a lifetime. 

And love. 


Love is incredible if you ever experienced it in all of its purity. It’s addictive, it’s impossible, it’s beyond words. Though I realize there are people in this world that perhaps have never loved anyone in their lives. I can’t imagine being one of those people. To be so crazy about a person that only thinking about that person makes you walk on clouds, to understand the meaning of every love song, to cry when you’re staring at that face because it’s too beautiful to be true, to be willing to give all you have to that person and ask for absolutely nothing in return. I never thought I’d experience love at that intensity. Yet here I am, I lived and loved and experienced it in full. Never mind the pain, never mind the moments you want to pull your heart out and smash it against the window. There is no pleasure without pain, no love without heartache, no life without setbacks. If you want to keep yourself from getting hurt then you might as well become a robot and walk glued to the wall for the rest of your life. But in the end you will regret it. You will miserably regret it.

We are all different and I am sure the ones that have that fire constantly burning in their hearts in search for life are completely understanding this article and are probably people who have done similar things that I have done. I am a restless soul. It’s my curse and my blessing. I can never stay in one place too long without doing something new and I can never love without giving my own heart on a plate. But I am happy because I know I am not the only one. And I am sure a lot of you reading this article will feel connected to it some way or the other. My only advice is if you feel that restlessness inside you, do feed it from time to time and never suppress it.  You will be grateful for it in the future. So this year won’t be better than last year, it will just be different and filled with crazy shit and new experiences!

19 December 2016

Bokwa baby!

Oh yes, I can’t describe it better than this :)

Well of course I can and I will!
This summer I heard of the concept of Bokwa for the very first time and I immediately became mesmerized by the idea.

What is Bokwa? Basically a super cool cardio workout routine created by Paul Mavi (check out more on https://bokwafitness.com/en/) that doesn’t require choreography or counting steps. What you basically do is draw letters and numbers with your feet. Believe me I was already convinced that this could be something for me. I tried Zumba for example for a few times but I found the steps quite difficult to follow, the dance routine got changed almost every class and all I did was stare at my clumsiness in the mirror and laugh. I stopped at one point because it was more frustrating to keep up with the steps than to actually have fun. I tried fitness as well for a few months at a time but realized I easily got bored and didn’t have the motivation to go on with it. I was missing something. With Bokwa I had the feeling I was going to have some fun. And believe me I was not disappointed!

Imagine my surprise when I discovered I had the chance to not only practice Bokwa but actually become a Bokwa instructor myself! I am a writer and have an office job. At the end of the day I feel tired and sore, my back hurts, my legs, my arms etc. Going back to my apartment and sitting on my ass watching TV is not an option for me. I want to do something fun, forget about the sometimes stressful days and feel energized. Moreover I want to share this experience with others. Becoming an instructor, being fit and moreover motivating others to be fit in a fun and easy way, making them smile and forget about their own stressful days is something I admire and would like to achieve. Bokwa is fun, uses a combination of the latest hits as a workout music and it’s easy, everyone can do it but most important:

It makes you go out of your freaking mind!!!

My Bokwa journey started when I visited my instructor and mentor Dani Obleaga in Petrosani. I must say I didn’t know much of the city Petrosani but never had I expected it to be so cozy. Well and a bit cold as well as it is located further in the mountains for it is a mining region.

As I stood in the city center I watched how I was surrounded by mountains and thought what a wonderful view this must be to wake up to every morning. I can’t even imagine how cool it looks in the summer.

The people of Petrosani are so much different from Bucharest. I am from Bucharest myself so I can’t criticize much my fellow citizens but man, people in Petrosani are so much friendlier and honest.

Dani and his superb wife Simona invited me to a cafĂ©, ‘Caffe Flore’ and it felt like Cheers. Seriously, everyone knew everyone and the bartender, Daniela Rasnoveanu, was so friendly and sweet. She served me with tea, chai latte and a great cocktail and it felt as if she was taking care of every customer with love and dedication. I seriously recommend this place to everyone. I sat there in the middle of what I could say strangers but they treated me like one of their own. I also noticed that some of the friends were actually participants to Dani and Simona’s workout classes. Need I say more?

Bokwa training day was very important to me so I was quite nervous. I was also nervous about my fellow students because I knew one of them had a lot of experience in dancing and I was afraid I might not be able to meet the expectations. But my instructor Dani made it very clear ‘Everyone Can Bokwa! Bokwa is for everybody!’ And moreover he gave me the feeling he believed in me right from the start.

I imagined my fellow students would be some fitness big shots with attitude. Never was I more wrong.  One of the students was Alin, a firefighter, a father and husband who owns his own business. He wanted to do something new and expand his horizon. He was down to earth and eager to learn. The other student (the one I was afraid of) was Costin PG, a talented and funny Entertainer with great moves but also very down to earth and motivated. So both my fellow students weren’t that fitness image I had expected. Actually all three of us came from three different worlds. But this was no challenge for our instructor as he, assisted by his superb wife and talented beyond words, Simona (yes I am in love with her :)), was able to make the Bokwa moves both challenging and fun to learn for all three of us. We started with power and ended with power and I swear not a moment during that day did my smile fade away. I felt every muscle in my body, put all negative thoughts aside and really concentrated on the music.

I can’t tell you the muscle ache I have right now, all three of us do, but that is also what makes us proud. Dani and Simona offered us a great opportunity to learn from them. Their modesty and eagerness to pass on this beautiful concept is truly admiring. What I forgot to tell you is this. When I entered their gym at ‘D&S Fit & Fun Studio’ my mouth fell open facing their wall filled with pictures, diploma’s and certifications over the years, there is no fitness concept they didn’t do and no dance style they didn’t know, they’ve travelled all over the world and performed various shows. But they never once, not even once did they stand above us or tried to show us that they are better because of their experience. These kind of people are very hard to find these days and I am honored to have met them and to be able to work with them in the future. I feel like a chick who will be taught how to fly by eagles and yes I know chicks can’t fly but believe me this one will ;)

What I like most about Bokwa is that its goal is to make you move and have fun at the same time. The instructors aren’t stuck up or try to show off their talents every step of the way. The instructors want to truly make you forget about your day, the problems at home, the stress and just listen to the music, feel the power and have fun!

I believe in this concept and I believe it will keep on rising in the next few years (it has already been spread worldwide). I believe this not only because the concept is well thought and effective but also because the people who pass it on (who are truly like one big family) are dedicated and down to earth to make the best of a fitness workout and to see a smile on every participant, thus making the best of us.

Bokwa, here we come!

26 November 2016

Life is a gamble

A few weeks ago I was sitting in a restaurant completely irritated about the fact that the waitress was taking too long to take my order. I was about to leave but then the waitress finally showed up. I ordered a sandwich and within a few minutes it was in front of me.

I tasted the sandwich and I thought wow! This is incredibly good!

If the waitress had told me from the beginning that their food was so good I wouldn’t have bothered growing so impatient and irritated with her in the first place. This because I would have known that the outcome will be great.

Then I had to think about it for a moment. Doesn’t that apply to our everyday lives? If we knew something good was about to happen to us, we wouldn’t bother overthinking everything anymore. We’d look at our present differently and we would enjoy the moment knowing that good things will come our way and that those good things are certain. Unfortunately we don’t have that certitude. It would be easier wouldn’t it? To know that a job will lead you somewhere eventually so you know your efforts now will pay up later, or that a relationship will grow and become so much more so that gives you strength to put up with the down sides now. Or perhaps the other way around, if we knew now that the path we’ve chosen will lead us to nowhere we’d be able to take a different path and spare ourselves the trouble.

But we don’t!

I could have just as well gotten a crappy sandwich instead and my irritation would have just grown bigger. Or I could have left to a different restaurant and missed out on this perfect tasty sandwich.

What is the point that I’m trying to make?

Life is a gamble. If you don’t gamble at all you will never have a chance in winning. If you gamble a lot the chances are you will either win more than you could have imagined or take the worst fall you’ve ever been afraid of all your life. The decision is in your hands. Patience, forgiveness, ambition, these are all qualities you need in order to succeed but invest them in the wrong path and you’ll be wasting your time and talent. Then again there are people who say we don’t waste our time when we are trying to achieve something, even if we fail, we either win or learn.

Looking at my own life I don’t know what is better. I have the tendency of liking too many things at the same time when it comes to my hobbies, to my career perspectives and when it comes to love, well…I put all of me in it. I go all the way when it comes to the matters of the heart which also means that I fall all the way down when it goes wrong. Quote strange because when it comes to changing my career perspective I usually decide to stand in the middle afraid I might fail and will have to start all over again. From both these experiences I learn a lot but I can’t say my health finds it very invigorating. And what else do we have than our health? If our health goes down, then the story ends. So to me it’s a constant juggling between my passion, ambitions, love and my health, trying to keep them all in balance. Some might say change the way you are, the way you think. To me it’s difficult to be selfish when I care too much about others and it’s difficult to be indifferent when I can see even with my eyes closed. And I don’t want to shut myself from the world, become one of those cold hearted people, my only aim to make money and live in luxury. I am not like that. To me, if there is no one to share it with, money, life itself become completely useless. 

I talk a lot about gambling but perhaps another word for it is faith.  Have faith that all will turn out well and not worry about the future. But then again, that word seems too positive for me. I can’t say I always expect good things to happen. I am not a very positive person, never was and never will be. I just believe that being too positive creates different expectations and only leads to disappointment, while expecting the worse leads to either affirmation or pleasant surprises. 

What to do next? Perhaps start gambling a little less and then see how it goes from there. Invest in love little by little instead of spending it all at once. Not sure if that means I will suffer just a bit every day instead of suffering all at once…

I am sure you have your own opinion on the subject so I will end this post by quoting Heath Ledger’s smooth statement from the Casanova movie:

‘I have too long dominated the conversation. What are your thoughts on the matter?